1. When I get sad, I hurt myself. When I hurt myself, I feel pain. When I feel pain, I cry.

Topic number one

Okay. So now things will start to get intense.

A very serious topic we have right here.

So firstly I will talk talk a little about my own experience, there’s nothing to be shy about. I’ve over come that point in my life and that’s why I felt the need to share.

Secondly looking back this topic does remind me of the situation “can’t be alone” but okay …

So when I would get sad I wouldn’t know what to do to not feel the pain on the inside anymore, but I would always have the thought of hurting myself physically… well this is years back now. (Just to make it clear it’s not necessarily the topic”can’t be alone” there’s a lot of things that could or is leading you to pain) anyway. As a teenager hurting myself was my getaway I do have scars on my arms where most of it cleared up and some is still clear to see.

There’s no lie in saying that it didn’t make me feel better, because after crying and hurting myself I would feel better inside and that’s I healed myself just not to feel the pain in my heart and chest.

When I use to hurt myself I obviously felt the pain, but I did it because I knew it would go away again.

And it became a thing in anyway possible to hurt myself I did.

When I feel pain I cry, it’s normal but then I realized it’s not doing me good. I still feel pain on the inside sitting with scars. I eventually stopped doing that. I had a partner that knew about it and he helped me stopped, sadly he was part of the pain, he became part of the topic “ can’t be alone”. I never knew I had this depression, anxiety etc… I always made excuses to myself that there’s nothing wrong with my mental, emotional health. But it all got clearer as I got older, accepting it became the way.

There’s nothing wrong with hurting yourself, I give it to you because I understand… but don’t do it , if you are doing it still today Stop! It feels worth it in our minds but it’s really not. There are many different ways to deal with pain. We don’t always wanna talk to someone that’s why we hurt ourselves, but trust me talking to someone is the best way you’ll get, don’t talk to someone you know, don’t talk to your friends,partner,parents. Go to a professional, think about this topic and ask is it worth it?

Thank you 🌸

Topic no:2 - Tomorrow.